May 01, 2006 at 09:08 PM EDT

May 01, 2006 at 09:08 PM EDT
Today I was on pins and needles all day and sure enough the call came and we were so disappointed and saddened. Marrianas counts are down to 20%. All areas of her counts are down. They told us today that this is as low as they can go and they are stopping the cyclosporine which is an immune suppresant and is helping Simons skin to Not get graft vs. host. They told us if this does nothing, Simon will probably need another transplant. Marriana is so upset too. We said a prayer before bed and asked GOD to help marrianas cells in simon to grow, she said "mom can jesus really do that?" I choked back every tear I had and said "we can only ask baby". Our hearts are breaking again tonight for our children. I honestly don't know how, now knowing what Simon went through and would go through again and Marriana as well, how we will get through it a second time around. Simon was so sick from everything and now he is so alive and full of personality. It makes me sick to think of it all. I have always hated rollercoasters and this one we are on is killing me. I have asked and continue to ask for prayers. Simon goes in on Friday for some IV meds that he needs monthly so he will get that stick and then vntr blood draws. Its going to be a long weekend waiting for the results next monday. We try to be positive and we see Simon doing so well and then we get this news and its so hard to keep hoping and keeping the faith. why we keep asking. why? Please stay with us through this. We need you all and all of your prayers and hope. God Bless. Tracy and David